THERE'S A 3RD PERSON IN MY MARRIAGE (Serious)

I feel this is the time to share something very important and heart breaking with my blog friends. 

I am not out to "slam" my husband, but want to bring this issue to light, so that maybe I can find some "kindred spirits of support" out there.

There is a 3rd person in my marriage.

Jesus is supposed to be the completing side of the triangle of my marriage to my husband, but the Lord has been shoved out and "alcohol" has taken that place.

Alcohol has become the "mistress" to my husband.  It is wreaking havoc and is showing no signs of stopping or slowing down.

Alcohol has been asked to leave several times, but keeps being invited back in by my husband over and over again.

I no longer get to enjoy the sweetness and goodness of spending time with my husband; going to dinner; on motorcycle rides; vacation; church because Alcohol is the only one allowed to spend time with him.  

He doesn't want to be with his family.  He wants to spend all his "alone time" (after work, weekends, free time, etc) with Alcohol.  

I speak of "Alcohol" as a person because it seems to be a living, breathing, growing presence in our lives. Out to destroy everything in its path. 

It has no conscience. 

It doesn't care that it is ripping our lives apart.

It's not concerned that my son doesn't get to spend time with his step-dad.

With my pastor and counselor's guidance and prayer, I am preparing to leave our home, with my son and dogs, in a few weeks in hopes that possibly a "temporary separation" will cause my husband to seek treatment for this awful addiction. 

This is the next step in protecting my son and myself (there is NO domestic abuse going on).  If my husband will seek counseling, treatment and sobriety, then we may possibly be able to try and save our marriage.

The Lord has not laid on my heart a "time frame" of how long I should wait.  He has not laid on my heart to file for divorce, as of yet. 

Patience is not my strong suit, but I am prepared to wait on the Lord's timing.

Please be in prayer for my family, especially my son.  We are very close and communicate about everything, so I am keeping close tabs on him and his well-being.

Please pray for my husband. 

Without going into too much detail (I may at a later time),  my husband has many life experiences that explain why he doesn't want to break the grips with alcohol.  Alcohol is familiar.  It has been a part of his family growing up.  It numbs his brain and makes him temporarily forget the pains and heartaches in his life (past and present). 

Please do not pity me. 

Am I heartbroken?  Yes.  Do I love my husband?  YES. 

With that being said, I have been dealing with this for a LONG time. 

I will not die over this.  I have my good and bad days, but overall, I still find joy in life and will not allow alcohol to cripple me, take away peace from me and my son or put me into a depressional nose dive.

I would love to hear from anyone openly, anonymously or via email (it's on my profile). 

I REFUSE to keep silent over alcohol and the antics that go along with the addiction.